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Subject: 
Re: Looking for feedback.
Newsgroups: 
lugnet.off-topic.debate
Date: 
Wed, 28 Mar 2001 19:01:08 GMT
Viewed: 
155 times
  
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Jeremy H. Sproat writes:
In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Dave Schuler writes:
[...]  Ultimately he presented me with a book that he felt argued his case
convincingly, and he hoped I would "come around" once I'd read it.
[...]
My problem is this: I consider my coworker a friend, and I certainly
respect him professionally, but the arguments (such as they are) that he
offers are logically unconvincing.  How, then, do I indicate that I cannot
be convinced by such arguments without offending him?

Isn't this the classic "agree to disagree" situation?  It requires effort
from both you and him to do this.

  That might be how we wind up handling it.  I think he's been hoping for
more tangible resolution, but what can you do?

Don't let him think you're convinced, but also don't let him think you're
contemptuous either.  Present yourself to him with an open mind.  You may
want to avoid debates on the issue if you can, at least for a little while
until he realizes that his emotional investment won't pay off immediately.
After that threshold is reached, rational and friendly discussion should
come about much much more easily.

  "Let cooler heads prevail," in other words.  Good advice always!  Perhaps
after a hiatus on the subject we'll be able to discuss it more neutrally.
For that matter, I may easily be overestimating the likelihood of offending him!

Or maybe this is the coward's way out --, anywho, it's worked for me.

  I think maybe I'll just spread vicious rumors about him to get him
transferred.  Much easier for me, in the long run!  8^)

  Thanks for the input!

     Dave!



Message is in Reply To:
  Re: Looking for feedback.
 
(...) Isn't this the classic "agree to disagree" situation? It requires effort from both you and him to do this. I don't have much to offer in terms of advice, just personal experience. I've come across this a few times in my religion (for all I (...) (24 years ago, 28-Mar-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)

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