Subject:
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Re: Looking for feedback.
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.debate
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Date:
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Wed, 28 Mar 2001 18:44:14 GMT
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Viewed:
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184 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Dave Schuler writes:
> [...] Ultimately he presented me with a book that he felt argued his case
> convincingly, and he hoped I would "come around" once I'd read it.
> [...]
> My problem is this: I consider my coworker a friend, and I certainly
> respect him professionally, but the arguments (such as they are) that he
> offers are logically unconvincing. How, then, do I indicate that I cannot
> be convinced by such arguments without offending him?
Isn't this the classic "agree to disagree" situation? It requires effort
from both you and him to do this.
I don't have much to offer in terms of advice, just personal experience.
I've come across this a few times in my religion (for all I know, he tried
to get you to read the Book of Mormon :-). It'd prolly have been better if
he just put his cards on the table and mentioned his book in passing, rather
than pushing the book onto you, but alas...
> The matter involves
> much greater personal investment for him than for me, so I don't want to
> insult him unintentionally, nor do I wish to ridicule him.
> Can anyone offer insight into how I might handle this? He's not
> particularly fragile, but, again, he's more commited on a personal level to
> his viewpoint than I am to mine.
Don't let him think you're convinced, but also don't let him think you're
contemptuous either. Present yourself to him with an open mind. You may
want to avoid debates on the issue if you can, at least for a little while
until he realizes that his emotional investment won't pay off immediately.
After that threshold is reached, rational and friendly discussion should
come about much much more easily.
Or maybe this is the coward's way out --, anywho, it's worked for me. :-,
Cheers,
- jsproat
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Looking for feedback.
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| (...) That might be how we wind up handling it. I think he's been hoping for more tangible resolution, but what can you do? (...) "Let cooler heads prevail," in other words. Good advice always! Perhaps after a hiatus on the subject we'll be able to (...) (23 years ago, 28-Mar-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Looking for feedback.
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| Not quite .debate material (yet), but I thought this might be a good place to solicit ideas. I have a coworker whose views on several key matters differ from and are irreconcilable with mine. For purposes of discussion, let's say that neither one of (...) (23 years ago, 28-Mar-01, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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