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Dave Schuler wrote in message ...
> In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Kevin Wilson writes:
>
> > Why do you think it's important to look for one person who does fill all
> > ones needs, Eric? Do you think it's likely that one would find such a
> > person? ALL needs?
>
> Out of curiosity, Kevin, do you think it's impossible to find such a
> person? Or, conversely, do you think it's possible to find any combination
> of people to meet ALL of one's needs? Is it even necessary that ALL needs
> be met?
I don't like to say impossible... but certainly improbable. A combination of
people is more likely. But in fact I think you're right that ALL needs
should not be expected to be met - apart from anything else, most of us
don't even know what ALL our needs are or will be, some take us quite by
surprise when they appear, and they often change over time. Certainly when I
got married at 22 I had no idea what kind of a person I would be now at 42,
or what my needs in a partner would be (a tolerance for little lumps of ABS,
for instance :-) ).
Actually the whole idea of having to have someone else around in order to
give you something you need, makes me a little squeamish. What happens if
disaster strikes and that person is no longer there? If it really is a
*need* they were supplying, ie something essential, you're in big trouble.
(Rebound time). Better to have enough resources within *yourself* to meet
your own needs, and regard partnerships as a wonderful bonus involving
emotional give and take.
Kevin
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: Polyamory
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| (...) Out of curiosity, Kevin, do you think it's impossible to find such a person? Or, conversely, do you think it's possible to find any combination of people to meet ALL of one's needs? Is it even necessary that ALL needs be met? I'm not blasting (...) (24 years ago, 14-Dec-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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