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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, Kevin Wilson writes:
> I personally have no interest in looking for one person to fill all my
> needs, and I don't see that that's anyone else's business. Nor do I want to
> try to fill all my partner's needs, nor does he want me to.
That's great for both of you. I note with interest that you snipped away the
part where I said I didn't see anything wrong with dating multiple people, as
long as *all* people involved in *all* the relationships are aware of what's
going on. I don't see anything wrong with it at all.
But I don't see a difference between that and simply dating around, not taking
any relationship to a deeper level. I know that polyamorists like to think
they are having a deeper relationship with all the people they're currently
seeing, but I have to reject that idea- how deep can your relationship with X
be if you are thinking about seeing Y later, or looking for a possible Z?
And, to get to the point where it *always* breaks down- if catastrophe befell
both X and Y at the same time, how would you choose with whom to be? If both X
and Y reached some sort of pinnacle in their lives at the same time, with whom
would you choose to celebrate? You aren't really opening up and sharing your
life with someone if there's the chance when they need you, you won't be there
because of someone else. And, once again, that's fine with me- but it's not
the same as committing to a single person.
eric
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Message has 3 Replies:
 | | Re: Polyamory
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| (...) I suppose it really depends on how you let the other person view the relationship. (...) I'd choose the one who needed me most. Scott A (...) (24 years ago, 14-Dec-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Polyamory
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| Lorbaat wrote in message ... (...) to (...) the (...) as (...) what's (...) I snipped it away because in spite of what it said, your use of the term "copping out" seemed to me to show that you *did* see something wrong with it. You didn't answer my (...) (24 years ago, 14-Dec-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
| | | Re: Polyamory
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| (...) As deep as any relationship can be. That's like asking how much can you love your mother if you're having to think about loving your father. Love is not finite. You don't have 100 points of love to spread around and so the more people you have (...) (24 years ago, 14-Dec-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Polyamory
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| Lorbaat wrote in message ... (...) never (...) Why do you think it's important to look for one person who does fill all ones needs, Eric? Do you think it's likely that one would find such a person? ALL needs? Your use of the term "copping out" seems (...) (24 years ago, 14-Dec-00, to lugnet.off-topic.debate)
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