Subject:
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Re: Caerany: The Bloodshed Continues
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.castle
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Date:
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Sat, 2 Feb 2002 22:32:43 GMT
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Viewed:
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581 times
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In lugnet.castle, Leonard Hoffman writes:
> The third installment of my story (under "news"):
>
> http://www.lugnet.com/~1168/caerany/
Hey Lenny -
Sorry this post is soooo long behind yours. I've been slacking on my
reading, but I was looking for your site and stumbled upon this post. Since
I enjoy your stories, I figured I'd check them out. Wow, you've added a ton
since I've last checked it out!
Four new parts, all with plenty of pictures... I'm getting increasingly
interested in your story. A rebellion, money troubles, battle scenes,
letters, comics -- you've got everything that makes a great lego story, and
more. I really like it, Lenny.
Suggestions:
- In general your spelling is just fine, but like every human being you've
got a couple of typos here and there... it's hard for the writer to spot
their own typos on the screen. A good idea might be to print out the text
(not the pictures! Just copy&paste the text into Word or some'n), read it
printed, and mark any corrections. (I should follow my own advice about
that, too. ;-)
- When you're linking to the comic page, I see no point in having an
intermediate, nearly-empty page... just link straight to brickshelf, or make
a page with the comics included.
- By the same token, you might want to remove links to part 4 and 5 as long
as you haven't written them. :-)
All in all, your story is really great. I hope you don't mind if I use this
as a discussion jumping-board...:
I see a few similarities between your stories to my ideas of Scar and the
Justice Wolves... the rebellions, seeking justice, etcetera. It's funny, you
know - after all, the thought of rebellion or peaceful sit-ins would never
have even crossed the mind of real medieval peasants. I've been studying
that time period (feudalism) in a course this term, and the thing my
professor kept stressing was that medieval people would never even consider
trying to change their status. Royalty were royalty and peasants were
peasants, that's the way it was, and no peasant would even *think* of
dreaming to rise above their status; it just *wasn't in their nature*. Of
*course* people aren't equal, was their mindframe. It's so hard for us,
"modern" people to comprehend that - of course they wanted freedom, we
think... and yet, they didn't! Isn't that just so mind-boggling?
--
Also, I have another, unrelated question... would you mind if I used your
weapons' pictures to make a weapons entry for the castle FAQ? Your pictures
are very sharp and good... in fact, I just suggested that Cary simply link
to your page. But since you've got some story-related discussion there, I
thought maybe I could use some of your pictures and slap together a quick
"weapon names and common uses" page. Would that be cool with you?
> ps. there have also been some site cleaning up, and criticism is desperately
> needed for the maintainence of proper self esteme. my wife called my website
> "silly" and some friends said i had "waaay to much time on my hands".. and
> yet i persevere!
It makes me mad that no one replies to your posts. I can't quite figure out
why - I think you're too modest, for one reason. :-)
Also, it helps sometimes to provide links to your individual stories. I, for
one, couldn't find the "news" link that you mentioned, and was about to post
about it, but luckily clicked on "part1" and found the story. :-)
Good luck and please, continue persevering! I enjoy your stories greatly.
-Shiri
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Caerany: The Bloodshed Continues
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| shiri- to begin with, your post is always welcome, no matter its punctuality. (sp) (...) hehehhehe. I always work too fast and never proofread. I swear that I will before the next update. (...) good idea. ugh. sometimes i just never think of the (...) (23 years ago, 4-Feb-02, to lugnet.castle)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Caerany: The Bloodshed Continues
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| The third installment of my story (under "news"): (URL) Rebels strike again, this time a major character dies! It only raises the question: where will they strike next?? The Lonsan government is trying to deal with a mounting budget crisis and (...) (23 years ago, 8-Jan-02, to lugnet.castle)
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