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Hi Matt,
I read some of your writing (not sure if this was before or after you
edited it). It is actualy quite good in many ways (but that says a lot about
the reader I am). If you want my advice it would be to create some contrasts.
Such as some characters with simpiler views (to highlight your existing more
complicated characters); also some periods of action or more in depth scene
setting (there may be more I just didn't get far enough). This is just a
suggestion which I think would highlight your story/style rather then
changing it.
God Bless and keep up the good work,
Nathan
In lugnet.castle, Matt Hein writes:
> In lugnet.castle, Alan Findlay writes:
>
> <some snippage>
>
> > The only "glaring failure" would be if you stopped writing altogether.
> > You've got something that you want to say, that's why you write. Hopefully
> > this process is helpful for refining your delivery so that your message can
> > be heard and understood. Don't give up. Keep working at it, and over time
> > you'll be able to develop a style that both reflects who you are and conveys
> > your thoughts to your audience.
> >
> > Alan
>
> True. I don't believe I'm going to quit any time soon,
> though. :)
>
> I'm probably going to retype the original project
> (since a lot of it is very similar), so hopefully
> It will *eventually* become a drawing read. The
> story seems fine, but the execution of it doesn't.
>
> <<_Matt Hein_>>
> Fellow lego enthusiast.
>
> If I rewrite this again, this will probably be
> my third attempt at the project.
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Please read this!
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| (...) Thank you for your comments. They are highly valued. (I'm still assessing my target audience. Perhaps It would appeal to the more philosophical type?) (...) I'm planning on editing that as well. It seems that I kind of created an antithesis to (...) (21 years ago, 19-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Please read this!
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| In lugnet.castle, Alan Findlay writes: <some snippage> (...) True. I don't believe I'm going to quit any time soon, though. :) I'm probably going to retype the original project (since a lot of it is very similar), so hopefully It will *eventually* (...) (21 years ago, 18-Dec-02, to lugnet.castle, lugnet.general)
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