Subject:
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An official explanation of the GST :)
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.loc.au, lugnet.org.au
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Date:
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Thu, 27 Jul 2000 03:27:17 GMT
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Viewed:
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50 times
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For those of you who don't quite understand the workings of the GST, I found
a copy of a letter sent out to many businesses in early June. I've
transcribed the letter below for your benefit:
By now, of course, you've read all those GST information leaflets the
government has been sending out, and you have a complete understanding of
how it's all going to work. ...You don't? Well, never mind...
The new system is NUTS - the New Universal Taxation System - and although it
may appear to be complicated, it is easy to understand.>>Basically it is the
Simplified Tax Unit For Financial Transactions. (STUFFT) Major elements of
NUTS include a number for each business entity an Australian Business
Utilization Number (ABUN) which will be used during dealings with
governments of all levels. Every business in Australia will get ABUN with
NUTS.
The new system will simplify the way businesses report to the Australian
Taxation Collection Head Office Organization (ATCHOO). Businesses will be
required to complete a Business Activity Statement Table And Report
Directive (BASTARD) every month. Business should set aside at least three
days every working week to fill the BASTARD out.
Under the new system, every adult Australian taxpayer is classified as a
Simple Underpaid Consumer Keeping Everything Running (SUCKER) unless they
are unemployed and receiving Commonwealth benefits, in which case they are
classified as a Registered Australian Taxation Beneficiary Allowance Grant.
(RATBAG) All SUCKER's and RATBAG's will be required to complete a Direct
Application For Taxation (DAFT) form. The completed DAFT form will be
assessed by a local Metropolitan Or Regional Outcome Negotiator (MORON) who
determines the amount of Credited Refund Allowance Payment (CRAP) the
taxpayer will receive. Any SUCKER who wishes to appeal against the amount of
CRAP received from the government should contact their local MORON, who
will assess the appeal and classify it as either Secondary Temporarily
Unpaid Portion of Individual Donation (STUPID) or Income-Derived Individual
Obligatory Taxation Installment Credit (IDIOTIC).
If you are a RATBAG, you will not be entitled to a BUN with NUTS. You will
need to apply for the new allowance provided jointly by both the state and
federal governments, Joint Organization Benefit (JOB). Any RATBAG who does
not apply for a JOB can get STUFFT.
From July 1, when all Australia goes NUTS, small businesses need to submit a
fortnightly General Allocation Rebate for Business And Goods Estimate
(GARBAGE) report to the Department of Untaxed Merchandise and Produce
(DUMP). Your GARBAGE must be sent to the DUMP before the 30th of each month.
All small businesses must be registered as Business Utilizing Sales Tax
(BUST) by June 30th, and small businesses employing less than 2.7 persons on
a regular full-time basis must give each employee the Statutory Assessment
Contribution Kit (SACK) on or before July 1. Only when all employees are
given the SACK will the business be officially acknowledged as BUST. In
order to alleviate any hardship during the changeover period, the government
will establish a Department Of Grants and Subsidies (DOGS).
It is anticipated that, by the end of the next financial year, all
businesses will be registered as BUST and the country will have gone to the
DOGS.
I hope this has helped everyone with their understanding of the GST and its
workings :)
Benjamin Whytcross
BWhytcro@PacificAccess.com.au
Ph: (03) 9856 5282
Directory Technology Pty Ltd
1/436 Elgar Road,
Box Hill, 3128
Growing older is compulsory..Growing up isn't :-)
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