Subject:
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Nutty Christians....
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Sat, 26 Feb 2000 18:38:08 GMT
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Reply-To:
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johnneal@uswest{stopspammers}.net
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Viewed:
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255 times
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This list of excerpts from various Church bulletins was forwarded to me
and made me lol. Enjoy:-)
-John
1. The Scouts are saving aluminum
cans, bottles and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be
used to cripple children.
2. Ladies Bible Study will be held
Thursday morning at 10. All ladies
are invited to lunch in the Fellowship
Hall after the B.S. is done.
3. The pastor would appreciate it
if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday
morning.
4. Low Self Esteem Support Group
will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please
use the back door.
5. The pastor will preach his farewell
message, after which the choir
will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."
6. A songfest was hell at the Methodist
church Wednesday.
7. Remember in prayer the many
who are sick of our church and
community.
8. The eighth-graders will be presenting
Shakespeare's Hamlet in the
Church basement Friday at 7 PM.
The Congregation is invited to attend
this tragedy.
9. Thursday night Potluck Supper.
Prayer and medication to follow.
10. The rosebud on the altar this
morning is to announce the birth of
David, the sin of Rev. and Mrs. Adams.
11. Tuesday at 4 PM there will be an
ice cream social. All ladies
giving milk will please come early.
12. A bean supper will be held on
Tuesday evening in the church hall.
Music will follow.
13. At the evening service tonight,
the sermon topic will be "What Is
Hell?" Come early and listen to
our choir practice.
14. Weight Watchers will meet at
7 PM at the First Presbyterian
Church. Please use large double
door at the side entrance.
15. Mrs. Johnson will be entering
the hospital this week for testes.
16. Please join us as we show our
support for Amy and Alan who are
preparing for the girth of their first child.
17. The Lutheran Men's group will
meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed
potatoes, green beans, bread and
dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
18. The Associate Minister unveiled
the church's new tithing campaign
slogan last Sunday: "I Upped
My Pledge - Up Yours."
19. Our next song is "Angels
We Have Heard Get High."
20. Don't let worry kill you, let the church help.
21. For those of you who have
children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.
22. This being Easter Sunday, we will
ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward
and lay an egg on the altar.
23. The service will close with Little
Drops of Water. One of the
ladies will start quietly and the rest
of the congregation will join in.
24. Eight new choir robes are
currently needed, due to the addition of
several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.
25. The senior choir invites any
member of the congregation who enjoys
sinning to join the choir.
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Nutty Christians....
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| (...) Another one: This Sunday, we will have Father Green as the visiting pastor with his wife, Ms. Green. We invite everyone to stay after the service for the Hanging of the Greens. Alan (25 years ago, 26-Feb-00, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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