Subject:
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Re: Sanity Test
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Tue, 22 Jun 1999 23:09:44 GMT
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Viewed:
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294 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Jeremy H. Sproat writes:
> Richard Dee wrote:
> > (1)I have no idea what a petrol float is, but am mentioning
> > it due to the soda fountain reference.
>
> Actually, a petrol float is a frothy, light alcoholic concoction which lists
> pineapple juice, diesel gasoline, and crushed ice among its ingredients.
In some of the more posh drinking establishments and country clubs in Arizona,
they float a spinach bowtie pasta noodle on top and drop in a piece of
sidewalk crack moss.
> It was created by Joseph and Flavius von Skirmisher -- the two Termenton,
> New Jersey automobile mechanics who also came up with the "screwdriver"
> drink. Innovators in the twin arts of auto repair and inebriation, the von
> Skirmishers are famous for using only the tools and ingredients at hand for
> their wonderful recipes.
Some of their lesser-known delights include,
"The Piston Colada",
"Manifold Mary",
"Needlenose Norange" (makes more sense when you're smashed)
"Lemon Gasket",
and "The Trunk Buzzer"
though I hear a small pub in Macon Georgia still serves these. The internet is
sooo wonderful!
> They amassed a large and influentual clientele,
> including such notable persons as then-U.S. Senator Lyndon B. Johnson and
> (reputed) mob boss Lugio Scatalotollogi. Even today, the petrol float is a
> very popular drink in the New Jersey social circuit.
But what's not really touched upon in the Encyclopedius Sproaticus is that
Flavius later mysteriously underwent a radical behavior change after Lugio
"Stinky" Scatalotollogi allegedly tried to acquire the float's recipe by
holding ransom Flavius' collection of prized taxidermed dingo heads.
> Those old enough might remember the scandal which rocked the town of
> Trememton when, curiously, around 1,800 residents became fatally ill on a
> petroleum-based drink. It was such a tragic event that it made headlines
> from New York City to Hanoi. Investigations were inconclusive however, and
> all charges against the von Skirmisher brothers were dismissed.
The mob that carried the brothers to police station had become inflamed partly
due to Stinky's encouragement. While incarcerated, Joseph pleaded insanity for
his brother after he showed that Flavius altered the now famous recipe rather
than let it go to some "thug". However, the return of Flavius' collection was
contigent upon the success of the drink at Stinky's, a rather well-known "dry
cleaners"/speak-easy owned by the alleged mobster. But at the mere mention of
Lugio's name, Police Captain Milfred O. Banes quickly ushered the two brothers
out through the station's secret underground exit bypassing the seething
multitude. Sadly, Flavius' collection was never returned or found. As a side
note, Stinky's never recovered from the fallout, but Stinky went on to other
more enterprising opportunities in Atlantic City.
-Tom McD.
when replying, spamcake is not acceptable barter in Five Card Stud.
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Sanity Test
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| (...) ROTFLMFO Hey Todd, we *really* need a lugnet.off-topic.bs newsgroup. Either that, or a couple of straightjackets. :-, Cheers, - jsproat (25 years ago, 22-Jun-99, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Sanity Test
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| (...) Actually, a petrol float is a frothy, light alcoholic concoction which lists pineapple juice, diesel gasoline, and crushed ice among its ingredients. It was created by Joseph and Flavius von Skirmisher -- the two Termenton, New Jersey (...) (25 years ago, 17-Jun-99, to lugnet.off-topic.fun)
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