Subject:
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Re: Question for the Conservatives out there
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Wed, 14 Jul 2004 16:19:09 GMT
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Viewed:
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2720 times
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In lugnet.off-topic.debate, David Koudys wrote:
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K, so Dave K’s Prez..
SecState would be... I’d say Larry (or John, I’m still debating that)
SecDef would be Bruce (cause I like his style about dealing with foreign
peeps)
Who else...
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Oo! Oo! Me! Me! Pick me!!!
I can actually save you some money, being appointed Health & Energy Secretary
simultaneously. My Programme for the next 4 years will deal with the growing
obesity problem amongst youths, and at the same time tackle the energy crisis.
In fact, I propose that every obese child be assigned a static bike, modified in
such a way that it acts on a small electrical generator. The effort, in Wh or J
or cal, that a person would have to generate everyday would be indexed to their
BMI. The generated power would
then be either stored in batteries for domestic use, or converted to AC and
delivered in the powergrid, thus benefiting the entire society at peak hours.
This way the fight against extreme weight would become a patriotic issue. And
the more patriotic your heart is, the less clogged the arteries are - the
citizens will therefore be able to live longer with a higher quality of life,
meaning less money is to be put in healthcare for their old age...
But my Programme will also be benefical to other departments:
The static bikes needed to undertake this endeavour would become a new product
for the military industries, thus enabling the Secretary of Defense to cut back
a little on military spending without effectively harming much needed jobs. In
short, instead of tanks, bikes. The models also require an attached generator,
which in turn must be developed - the scientists will have work for the next few
years.
The Secretary of Agriculture will also have his job made easier: since the
obesity problem is tackled after it occurrs, the demand for high-caloric foods
is not negatively affected - in fact, armed with the knowledge that burning
excess calories is a patriotic exercise, citizens will feel compelled to fill
their systems with carbohidrates and fat... a major boost in consumption is to
be expected.
The State Secretary would then have his life made easier too: having this newly
available power source, the dependance of the nation from foreign oil is greatly
reduced; therefore, the number of undemocratic regimes to be tolerated will
significantly decrease, allowing us to regain our spot as the moral beacon of
the world.
All these reasons I now submit to your consideration, Mr PreZident.
Sincerely,
Pedro
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Question for the Conservatives out there
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| In lugnet.off-topic.fun, Pedro Silva wrote: (snip) something very similar made the page just before the back cover in this month's Wired.... (the "products from the future" page)... a health club where you get credits in cash back for ergs put into (...) (20 years ago, 14-Jul-04, to lugnet.off-topic.fun, FTX)
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Message is in Reply To:
| | Re: Question for the Conservatives out there
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| (...) K, so Dave K's Prez.. SecState would be... I'd say Larry (or John, I'm still debating that) SecDef would be Bruce (cause I like his style about dealing with foreign peeps) Who else... Who knows anything about agriculture? Dave K (20 years ago, 14-Jul-04, to lugnet.off-topic.debate, FTX)
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