Subject:
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Re: Chapter Three is here! Rejoice in the sheer mediocrity!
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.castle
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Date:
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Sun, 3 Mar 2002 15:13:17 GMT
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Viewed:
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510 times
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In lugnet.announce, Jason Cicchini writes:
> Well, after alot of computer-related troubles, I present to thee the third
> chapter of the Chronicles of Velaria.
> It, along with the first two chapters, can be found under the "Chronicles"
> section on my website:
> http://velaria.8m.com/
Hey Jay!
I haven't seen the rest of your story before. I read it all today and it's
good! Your pictures are well-edited and very sharp. Your story's engaging
and cliff-hanging... lots of suspense. Once I started I had to read all I
could see.
I would suggest maybe trying to be a little less extreme, in the sense of
"pure good" and "pure evil". A story tends to be more believable if the
characters are not brought to the absolute extremity of good or bad; in life
there's a lot of grey shades. Things look different from various points of
view...
I really liked how you actually created your world from scratch, Gods,
genesis and all. That makes for a challanging work, and you're doing a great
job. I'm lookin' forward to see more of your story!
-Shiri
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