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My entry into the Civilian Space
Contest:
Rusty Bucket Transportation Services is proud to present: The Rusty Bucket
People Mover, “The Cheapest Transportation On The Planet”™.
Anyone and everyone is welcome, whether organic,
ditto or droid, so long as you abide
by a few simple rules:
1) *deleted*, gas, or grass, no one rides for free.
All forms of payment are to be handled up-front before personel loading. Only
Standard Galactic e-creds are officially accepted by the company, although other
forms of payment may be bartered with the driver at the driver’s discression.
Sorry, we do not accept Discover©.
(Since drivers must supply their own fuel, refined SpamCake is always a hit when
bartering. However, weapons-grade enriched SpamCake is not. Drivers are
neither licensed nor equipped to handle such an unstable substance.)
2) Bring it!
Small items of luggage are allowable so long as they fit in the cargo bins.
Droids and dittos are not considered stowable items, and separate fare must be
purchased for each. (Disconnected components are considered stowable items,
though, so if you can break the Mrs. down into her quivering, jelly-like organs
and then reintegrate her at your destination then fine, just so long as you
understand the following...)
Rusty Bucket is not liable for any items lost or misplaced during transport.
The rider is responsible for securing his/her/it’s own luggage and maintaining
that security until his/her/it’s destination.
3) Sit down, shut up, and hold on!
Rusty Bucket will provide some form of safety mechanism on all vehichles by
which you, the rider, may secure your own arse, be it seatbelt, rope, or a
strand of SpaceBungie.
The rider is responsible for securing all bodily appendages, attachments, and
plugins at all times. All restraint mechanisms, regardless of type, are
certified safe by our in-house Inebriated Mechanic On Duty (IMOD) prior to
allowing any vehichle outside of company grounds.
4) Notice: Driver is armed.
Any attempt to instigate a “ruckus” with the driver may result in immediate
ejection from the vehichle, in which case any items stowed in cargo bins are
considered forfeit to the driver and to the Rusty Bucket Transportation Company.
Weapons fire, a complementary service, may be issued to the rider free of charge
at the driver’s option.
Please note: All space hippies to be shot on sight.
Enjoy your ride with us.
Sincerely,
Rusty, owner and founder of the Rusty Bucket Transpotation Company®.
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Message has 1 Reply:
 | | Re: Rusty Bucket Transportation Services
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| (...) Dude, I screwed up. I was thinking 'no mounted weapons', i.e. non-military. I wasn't thinking about the rifle. D'oh! sigh Oh well. It's my first contest. Michael Peek P.S. I really should learn to spelchek too. (18 years ago, 8-Apr-06, to lugnet.space, FTX)
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