Subject:
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Re: My Stance
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.admin.general
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Date:
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Thu, 19 Oct 2000 22:27:11 GMT
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Reply-To:
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[moulton@hscis]AntiSpam[.net]
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On Thu, 19 Oct 2000 22:05:38 GMT, "James Brown"
<galliard@shades-of-night.com> wrote:
> In lugnet.admin.general, Matthew Moulton writes:
> <snip>
>
> Well, it may make me sound like a jerk, but your apology rings false and I
> think you're lying. I don't believe a word of it. You obviously have a
> certain degree of skill at word craft, and at the moment you're using it to
> smooth wrinkles instead of ripping tears, but that doesn't change what you did
> yesterday.
Let's examine what I did wrong yesterday. I attacked Judes site, I
promoted personal opinions on my website through this forum, I chose
to actively defend my opinions by flaming. I did not set out to try
and undermine the existence of Lugnet, I set out to express my
opinions and to try and get a point across. I did so in a poor
fashion, one that rather than help people see my view helped move them
farther away from it. And more than that it caused emotional dammage.
> I'm generally willing to give people an even break, but you exceeded my
> tolerance. Your opinions are your own, and frankly don't matter much to me
> either way - but you set out with deliberate, malicious intent to damage a
> community.
No, I didn't. I set out to try and make myself heard, to try and
prove a point, however I attempted to do that using harsh, biting ways
that only proved to make people angry at me and want to lock me out.
Why did I do it that way? It's what I'm used to. I thought that it
would work the way that it had in other groups. I acted without
thinking. I didn't take into consideration that the Lego community
might not be everything that I was convincing myself to see it as and
that my actions may cause hurt and anger rather than self reflection.
Now they did cause self reflection, but I realize now that I didn't
need to do what I did in order to make that happen. I acted in an
uncivilized and rude manner which was unbefitting of who I am. I then
was so inflamed that I chose to try and attack people with my opinions
rather than to admit I was wrong and let it go.
> With the enthusiasm & skill you showed for attacking a social structure, I can
> only believe one of two things about you today; either you're laughing up your
> sleeve, or your apology is sincere - In the latter case, you have *serious*
> mood swing problems, and I'd strongly suggest you try and get help.
>
> Personally, I think you're laughing up your sleeve.
>
> Only my opinion, of course.
>
> James
Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot of the opinions that I
expressed the other day, however I know that it is not appropriate for
me to discuss them here, they are too volatile a subject to try and
talk about rationally, at least at this point. And if there is
discussion about such opinions I don't believe I should participate as
I could present them in a flaming way. As far as trying to attack a
social structure, oh no, it's nothing even remotely like that. If I
were to put any effort into trying to destroy the Lego Community, it
wouldn't be here. I would never do that though, not ever. There are
a great many groups that I don't particularly share all their views,
some even more so than the Lego Community however I have never and
will never do anything bad to those groups. It is not my right, or my
place to try and play God. Does that mean that if someone asks me for
help I won't help them? Of course not. If I feel that there is a
person or group who is deliberately trying to destroy or harass
another group or person and they ask me for help, in most cases, I
will. I think most people are comparing me to this idealized version
of a ruthless and destructive troll who will attack anything or
anybody for the sheer fun of it. Again, that is NOT who I am. My
original goal was to try and help the Lego Community and I thought
that what I was doing was going to achieve that goal, and although it
did in one respect it caused an unnecessary amount of hurt feelings,
anger, and resentment. You must understand, when I started out, I
only meant for me to get hurt. I thought that after attacking Jude
others would attack me, I would look like the bad guy and Jude and the
rest would end up taking my criticism with a grain of salt. It didn't
work like I thought and that's why I'm putting so much effort into
trying to fix the damage I caused. Will I be able to fix it all? No,
but I should try nonetheless and I will try to work in ways to make up
for my actions. And I will not make the same mistake again because I
will not try to do what I did ever again in the Lego Community.
-Matthew
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Re: My Stance
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| In lugnet.admin.general, Matthew Moulton writes: <snip> Well, it may make me sound like a jerk, but your apology rings false and I think you're lying. I don't believe a word of it. You obviously have a certain degree of skill at word craft, and at (...) (24 years ago, 19-Oct-00, to lugnet.admin.general)
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