Subject:
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Important information
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Newsgroups:
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lugnet.off-topic.fun
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Date:
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Fri, 29 Jan 1999 21:45:03 GMT
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Viewed:
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394 times
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> > before reading this article, please read this disclaimer. <<
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real
persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some
assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not
included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No
other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor
vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to
CARB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to
affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Not rated
by the Motion Picture Association of America. Call for nutritional
information. Use other side for additional listings. Printed on recycled
paper. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years
of age. Prize not redeemable for cash value. If condition persists, consult
your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before
date on carton. To be used as a supplementary restraint system only. Always
fasten your safety belt. Subject to change without notice. Times
approximate. Simulated picture. Do not staple or paper clip. Price slightly
higher east of Alaska. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States.
Do not X-ray. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For
off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look
alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. Colors may,
in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Magnetic
media, non-returnable if seal is broken. Formatted to fit your screen.
Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red
Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool, process
promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at
time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to
forward. Prolong exposure to vapors has caused cancer in laboratory animals.
Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages
resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. Keep away from
children. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for
private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early
withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays
maximum rate. ** - Phenylketonurics: contains phenylalnine. Your canceled
check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Use only as directed;
intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling contents can
be harmful or fatal. Avoid contact with skin. Road construction ahead. Open
other end. Dealer participation may affect final price. May not be present
in all tap water. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is
properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west
of the Mississippi. Park at your own risk. Employees and their families and
friends are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on
some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure
prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this
engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at
top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Keep away from fire or
flames. See Uniform Code of Military Justice. Replace with same type.
Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. * - Indicates a low-fat item.
Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does
not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Tax, tag, and title not included in
advertised price. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time
zone. Reproduction by mechanical or electronic means, including
photocopying, is strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or
horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Avoid spraying into eyes.
An 18% gratuity will be added for parties of 8 or more. Do not write under
this line. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate
dates. First pull up, then pull down. For qualified buyers. Call toll free
before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned
in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional
transactions on back of previous stub. Unit not labeled for individual
sale. The following information is meant for general educational purposes
only. Contents under pressure. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. No
transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. All passengers must
be behind the white line while bus is in motion. Package sold by weight, not
volume. Your mileage may vary. No shirt, no shoes, no service. No smoking,
food, or drink. This article does not reflect the thoughts or opinions of
either myself, my company, my family, my roommate, my friends, or my cat.
Don't quote me on that. Don't quote me on anything. All rights reserved. You
may distribute this article freely but you may not make a profit from it. Do
not use near open flame. Management not responsible for loss or theft.
Maximum speeding fine: $350. Terms are subject to change without notice.
Illustrations are slightly enlarged to show detail. Any resemblance to
actual persons or events, living or dead, is unintentional and purely
coincidental. We have kosher and non-kosher foods. Do not remove this
disclaimer under penalty of law. Hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat. Do
not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle. No substitutions allowed. For a
limited time only. This article is void where prohibited, taxed, or
otherwise restricted. Caveat emptor. Prizes are not redeemable for cash
equivalent. All taxes become liability of the winner. Handicapped parking -
tow zone. Product is provided "as is" without any warranties. User assumes
full responsibility. An equal opportunity employer. We accept food stamps.
Quantities are limited while supplies last. If any defects are discovered,
do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service
center. Use at your own risk. Parental
advisory - explicit lyrics. Text may contain explicit materials some readers
may find objectionable, parental guidance is advised. Keep away from
sunlight. You must be 54" tall to ride this ride. Disconnect spark plug wire
before servicing. Keep away from pets and small children. Limit one per
family, please. No money down. No purchase necessary. You need not be
present to win. Some assembly required. Do not try this at home.
Instructions are included. Action figures sold separately. No preservatives
added. Shown with optional equipment. Slippery when wet. Product does not
really fly. Coated with food-grade vegetable, beeswax, and/or shellac-based
wax or resin to maintain freshness. This product contains olestra. Safety
goggles required during use. For demonstration purposes only. Sealed for
your protection, do not use if safety seal is broken. Call before you dig.
Not liable for damages arising from use or misuse. For external use only. If
rash, irritation, redness, or swelling develops, discontinue use. WARNING:
may cause cirrhosis of the liver, inflammation of the brain, heart damage,
pancreatic damage, kidney damage, spleen implosion or explosion, thyroid
combustion, severe nasal hair growth, blindness, hair loss, skin blemishes,
bone deformity, throat cancer, ulcers, hangnails, bladder leakage, sores,
scabs, elephantiasis, hepatitis, conjunctivitis, gingivitis, appendicitis,
bronchitis, and/or athlete's foot. Not recommended for children, adults,
senior citizens, animals, insects, plants, or dead people. Use only with
proper ventilation. Avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry
place. Sealed with printed foil for your protection. Keep away from open
flames. Avoid contact with eyes and skin and avoid inhaling fumes. Do not
puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit/ 49 degrees
Celsius. Do not place near a flammable or magnetic source. Your email
session may be monitored at the University’s discretion. Smoking this
article could be hazardous to your health. No salt, MSG, artificial color or
flavoring added. Use type GR927 battery. If ingested, do not induce
vomiting, and if symptoms persist, consult a physician. WARNING: pregnant
women, the elderly, and children should avoid this product. Discontinue use
if any of the following occurs: itching, vertigo, dizziness, tingling in
extremities, loss of balance or coordination, slurred speech, temporary
blindness, profuse sweating, or heart palpitations. May stick to certain
types of skin. Contains no fruit juice. Push down, then twist. Dry clean
only. UL listed. Articles are ribbed for your pleasure. Possible penalties
for early withdrawal. Offer valid only at participating sites. Slightly
higher west of the Rockies. Allow four to six weeks for delivery. Must be 18
to use. Warranty does not cover misuse, accident, extraterrestrial impact,
lightning, floods, tornadoes, solar flares, tsunami, volcanic eruptions,
earthquakes, supernovas, hurricanes, other Acts of God, neglect, damage from
improper or unauthorized use, incorrect line voltage and/or frequency,
broken antenna or marred cabinet, missing or altered serial numbers,
chemical reactions, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, sonic
boom shock waves, customer adjustments that are not covered in this list,
and incidents owing to an airplane crash, Divine Intervention,
extraterrestrial intervention, ship sinking or taking on water, motor
vehicle crashing, explosive decompression, hard vacuum, dropping the item,
falling rocks, falling anything, falling on rocks, falling on anything,
caustic chemicals, napalm, leaky roofs, broken glass, magnetic fields, laser
or other energy weapons, sub-atomic particle bombardment, emissions of
x-rays, microwave, ultraviolet, cosmic, and/or gamma rays, mud slides,
forest fires, or projectiles (which may include, but are not limited to,
arrows, bombs, artillery shells, missiles, bullets, snowballs, hand
grenades, buckshot, BBs, flares, shrapnel, liquid-filled balloons,
torpedoes, knives, stones, spears, swords, maces, pikes, clubs,
morningstars, etc.). Other restrictions may apply. WARNING: Federal law
provides severe civil and criminal penalties for the unauthorized
reproduction, distribution, or exhibition of copyrighted motion pictures and
videotapes. (Title 17, United States Code, Sections 501 and 506.3). The
Federal Bureau of Investigation (Title 17, United States Code, Section 506)
investigates allegations of criminal copyright infringement.(Title 17,
United States Code, Section 506.) See local retailer for complete details.
Now, wasn't that amusing? (you just read the article)
--
Ickna/Nick
This message transmitted on 100% recycled electrons.
A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.
I am having an out of money experience
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