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In lugnet.off-topic.clone-brands, Avery Christy wrote:
> While I ponder, weak and weary from mowing tall grass yards grown a day or two
> or more,
> I fumble in, a tired ghost of who I was before, to see my dusty array of bricks
> all in store
> With dust and age gathered as a funeral procession there to morn
> And I wonder, scratch my chin and wonder, when will I turn again to my sessions
> of mason,
> When will I re-ignite my passion and but brick to brick to my own eyes' glor'
>
> For there, often on the floor, spread as a sumptuous feast, would lie my Lego
> and more,
> My BTR and Oxford and 'nicle bought half price or less at the store,
> Alas, alas, tis long time since gaped a BTR, to the torment of my soul poor.
>
> Well I remember deep discounts all around and scrounged here and there to amass
> my wealth, but then, too much was held at too little and I alight upon the
> spirited idea in my brain that never again seen shall be the shadow of BTR as
> though dust on my floor,
> Lost and gone and never more, lost and gone and too poor for no profit is said,
> no profit made from discounts galore.
>
> Wretch, crieth I, your greed hath undone you and many more. Waited to buy
> Megatron and others at the store when pennies you would pay, and BTR could not
> stay.
>
> Heathen, Wretch, crieth I, and collapse upon the floor in my own grief, for my
> actions as a thief.
> And now, when the thief hungers, longs to see his brick monger with BTR and
> promised new sets, his soul starves and upon Lugnet he raves:
> Where, oh where? Have not I waited, long unsated, and yet failed me and there
> sorted will be the last of BTR as I cry upon the dank dusk of my floor, and to
> my yearning ears I wish not to hear the dark form speak:
>
> BTR, will be nevermore.
>
>
>
> Whew. Has anybody heard any news about BTR? Those promised new sets are taking a
> long time to reach the stores, if they will reach the stores at all.
You may talk of Built-To-Rule
‘Cause the sets are really cool,
But you haven’t seen a new one for a while.
If you miss the parts and colors
You can only hoot and hollar
That, at best, you might peruse the clearance aisle.
They seemed destined for success
With that precious ABS
And with every stud emblazoned with their logo.
Sadly, kids won’t spend a nickel
Unless the toy is Bionicle
Or unless the store is selling them for BOGO.
BTR!
Oh Hasbro, can’t you tell us where they are?
For GI Joe and Tonka
And Transformers, you must’ve sunk a
Ton of money into molds for trucks and cars.
Now these toys are in some warehouse;
Hasbro doesn’t seem to care how
Some of us can overlook the lousy piece-count.
Still, according to my sources
All you’ll likely see in stores is
What they couldn’t liquidate on deepest discount.
Just imagine their investment,
When the focus groups and tests hint
That you can succeed with crazy get-rich-quick ploys.
But it seems KB and Target—
Heck, the whole darned retail market—
Will support no more than two competing brick toys.
BTR!
With hopes for sets the finest yet by far!
Did the focus groups deceive you?
Hasbro, how can we believe you
Didn’t realize that your sales would be sub-par?
Do they lick their wounds and wonder
How to profit from this blunder?
No, their bottom line can easily withstand it,
Because Hasbro, rumor has it,
Could lose more than half its assets,
And still be the biggest toy brand on the planet.
They make almost every toy
Bought by every girl and boy;
BTR was just a dribble in the bucket.
So as Hasbro drowns in money,
They might find the whole thing funny:
“Built-To-Rule? Well, you can take that line and *forget* it!”
BTR!
Oh, we’ll never know how cool those new sets are!
That leaves MEGABLOKS and LEGO,
Since C3 and Best-Lock may go
To that magical toy heap among the stars.
Because retail space is waning,
Leaving two main brands remaining,
Each with diehard fans and acolytes devout.
As the competition stiffens,
One can’t help but giggle if an
Upstart clone-brand fails to carve its own niche out.
That, I think, is the chief reason
BTR died in one season:
Almost no one even saw it on the shelves.
And it can’t be overstated
That the market’s saturated.
So this leaves us BTR fans to ourselves.
BTR!
If you’d only understood the brick toy war!
Your best prospects are behind you
But your fans still hope to find you,
Searching eBay and garage sales near and far!
Dave!
(Props to the first person to identify the very well-known poem whose structure
I'm spoofing)
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Message is in Reply To:
 | | Have we seen the death of BTR?
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| While I ponder, weak and weary from mowing tall grass yards grown a day or two or more, I fumble in, a tired ghost of who I was before, to see my dusty array of bricks all in store With dust and age gathered as a funeral procession there to morn And (...) (19 years ago, 19-Jul-05, to lugnet.off-topic.clone-brands)
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