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On Fri, 20 Oct 2000 11:42:18 GMT, "John Robert-Blaze Kanehl"
<johnNYblaze44@webtv.net> wrote:
> The problem is these words of apology are hollow and devoid of meaning.
If I didn't mean what I said I wouldn't even BE here. I know I
screwed up, even more so than you can realize. If my apology wasn't
heart felt then why am I here? You seem to think I'm some sort of
evil person, that I have some alterior motive in store. If that were
the case I gaurentee the current situation would be WAY different from
what it is now. I'm not the kind of person who just hands out
apologies left and right. Only when I think someone REALLY deserves
one.
> The above comment on experiments is expounded upon, revelled in, and worn as
> a badge of honor in later thread posts. When Matt decides to "experiment"
> in Lugnet...will it be for "righteous" and "altruistic reasons? (AND I MEAN
> WHEN)
I already said that I wasn't, not here, not ever.
> These are the FACTS, as I see them. I may be mistaken. This is Todd's
> call, I realize that completely. I think that all of thepreceding posts,
> and particularly Matt's own words should be read carefully. I stand by my
> earlier assessment after hearing ABSOLUTLEY no compelling argument from any
> other member and especially from Matt:
I didn't see any facts in your arguments, all I saw was you looking
for every little snippit that you could use to try and get me banned
because you hate me. Not because of what you think I am, you hate me
because of my beliefs. Yes, I was wrong to share my beliefs here, and
I won't do it again, ever. Does that mean I'm going to change my
beliefs? No. Does that mean I'm not sorry for trying to deliberatly
hurt someone in order to get a point across. No. I set out to cause
dammage, but I didn't think it was real. I thought that the minute 2
or 3 people would start backing up Jude that my "attack" would be
taken with a grain of salt. I didn't think that there would be hurt
feelings, mine if any, but no one elses. If that had been the case, I
probably wouldn't be here right now. But you see I do care, and I
don't like to see other people get hurt, that was not my intent. And
I am truly sorry, and as I said before I know that that is not enough,
but it's a start. I'm doing something else here too that will help
relieve some peoples hurt feelings. By acting as a virtual punching
bag I can let help some people feel better.
-Matthew
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moulton
(score: 0.856)
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On Fri, 20 Oct 2000 14:35:43 GMT, =?iso-8859-1?Q?Sel=E7uk=20G=F6re?=
<ssgore@superonline.com> wrote:
> Sorry for being ignorant from time to time, but I'll ignore your well
> worded schweety talk. I have just a question, though. You already made
> your "point". You proved that we are a bunch of pathetic losers of an
> evil community, so why do you still want to be here?
If I believed that, I wouldn't be here. However I don't, and that's
why I'm here, and that's why I want to try and fix whatever dammage I
did. If you were a "bunch of...blah...blah...community" then my
attacks would not have affected anyone, you would have all laughed
them off.
-Matthew
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moulton
(score: 0.856)
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I know I'm going to get banned again. Why do I know this? I don't
know, it's just a feeling, I can't really explain it. It doesn't
upset me too much though, because I was able to publicly apologize,
and I was there to help some people relieve some of their anger
against me in the form of flames. But that doesn't fix what I did,
doesn't make it right, I know that. I had to at least try to do
something, anything. And I'm glad I was givin this opportunity, even
if it turns out to only be a temporary one. Thank you Todd.
-Matthew
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moulton
(score: 0.856)
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On Fri, 20 Oct 2000 17:40:46 GMT, "James Simpson" <jsimpson@rice.edu>
wrote:
> Matthew:
>
> Please give up the martyr routine.
I hope that's not how I'm being viewed. I made a stupid mistake, one
that I'm not very proud of, I apologized for it, and more than that I
hope to try and be a better person. There are some people who still
genuinely hate me, that is their right, they can express their feeling
if they wish, but I will not. I am not a martyr, not in any way.
> We are here because you have said some nasty
> things and violated the TOS. I feel just fine about myself today, thanks. If
> you are truly sorry for hurting people, then quit trying to spin this whole
> ordeal as if you are somehow the victim.
I'm not.
> Yes, I believe that some things have
> been said to you, about you, that ought not to have been said. Realize, though,
> that you have deeply hurt some folks by your comments about James Jessiman, and
> while it is true that you have been the receiver of some venom, what did you
> expect?
You make it sound like I want sympathy for it, I don't. I realize
that I hurt some people with my beliefs, the most I can do is keep
those beliefs to myself when I'm here and only act in a positive
manner. Is that going to make that hate go away? No. But that hate
does not affect me. A teacher of mine once said that the only person
who can truly make you mad is yourself. I will not allow myself to
get mad, that's what usually gets me into trouble in the first place.
I am actually supportive of anyone who wants to take a pop shot at me,
it won't hurt me and it'll help them feel better. I also don't think
anyone should try to tell them they're wrong for doing it because that
will make me look like a martyr as you said.
> I may not like some individuals who have passed on, but I'm not going
> to dessicate their graves.
I refuse to discuss my personal opinions or beliefs.
> Also, if you were offended by some people on RTL a
> while back, why didn't you tactfully address the problem, one-on-one, so to
> speak, by e-mail with the individuals that you feel wronged you?
You know that's probably what I should have done. I thought my way
would work, it's what I've been used to and I didn't bother to really
think before I spoke.
> That one is on
> you. I'm fully prepared to see what Matthew Moulton has to offer...I'm fully
> prepared to check out your models, and to value your contributions, so long as I
> have confidence that you are a person of good-will. You have damaged the trust
> that could have been put in you, and I doubt that it can ever be fully
> rectified. But I think that you can rebuild a measure of that trust.
I hope that I can too. And I will put every effort into it.
> But
> enough of this woe-is-me victim nonsense. It smacks of manipulation, and
> frankly causes me to view your apologies with some degree of suspicion. If you
> want us to value you, then start treating us with the same value that you hope
> to be accorded.
I will say it again then, I am NOT a victim, I am NOT a martyr. Some
people are quite mad at me and flaming me and I am not defending
myself against them, the reason why is that I feel they have a right
to do so and I feel that if I try intervening I am only going to
inflame the situation more than it is. I'm sure that anyone who is
attacking me will cool down over the next few days, they'll get it out
of their systems, and then we can all move on.
-Matthew
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moulton
(score: 0.856)
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I know that some people do not think I am sincere in my apologies and
they want to see me banned. I would however like to make a no
tolerance proposal. Basically I think that I should be on a sort of
probation period for say the next three months. In those months I
will not post anything that can be viewed as derogatory, degrading,
vengeful, or spiteful; I will not participate in any kind of heated
discussion, even in the off-topic groups; and I will act in a
courteous and example setting way at all times. After the three
months I think I should be off the no tolerance policy, however, I
should still have to act in a courteous manner, just as any Lugnet
user should. I think that my proposal is just and it will give me a
chance to prove myself. If I should happen to do anything outside the
proposal I think I should be immediately banned, without question and
without discussion.
-Matthew
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moulton
(score: 0.856)
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